I need to vent and need positive vibes from you all!

🤖 AI Summary

No AI summary has been generated for this thread yet.
4eVerFreeStyle

4eVerFreeStyle

New member
Joined
Jan 20, 2001
Messages
2,079
Reaction score
2
Points
0
Location
Bayonne
Ok, I do try to stay positive (most of the time) especially here because I'm one to believe no one really wants to hear your problems unless they are family and/or friends, but I feel really down right now and just need to type.

I'm sure some of you know already, but for those who don't, I'm a single mom of two GROWING EVERY DAY boys and I guess I make discent money, but compared to the living expenses (my rent alone is $1,000) and that's not including heat/hot water and everything else....

anyway, my ex is great giving me the child support so it's not his fault or anything... but I just can't seem to make ends meet. Just when I think we're ok, something comes out of no where (need new sneakers because one of the kids got it caught in a fence, etc.).

Now summer is near and I can't fit into any of my clothes (gained over 30 lbs so NOTHING FITS) and my boys, well, of course nothing fits them from last year either. So not only do they need all new clothes, but so do I. And I can't afford to do it.

I'm not much of a dresser because honestly, I'd rather them look good then myself (since I can't afford to be buying me clothes too). I wear the same jogging suit every weekend because I own only that one and one pair of jeans.

I guess that's another reason why I don't try to meet a guy and start something because I have nothing to wear when we go out. So of course, it's a full circle of disappointments.

I don't play the lottery much, but when I do (with that last dollar I have in my hand thinking just maybe it'll bring us luck) I play... not wishing for it all, just enough.

Oh guys, thank you for reading this long ass letter (if you actually did all the way through). I guess I just needed to hear that I'm not the only one that has gone through this and that it will get better.

God Bless,
Gina
 
aww gina... 🙁... my parents were in the same situation a yr ago... the have a mortgage payment out of this world... (and my house aint nothin like the ones at the beach) food,water... all of that.. we were like that for about 2-3 yrs... it got to the point to where my dad borrowed money from his friends... i know more or less what ur going thru... its sucks... there were nights that my mom went to sleep crying... cuz it all seemed so bad... but it got better... 🙂...

the only thing i can tell u is put ur faith in God... he doesnt put u in situations without a solution being there... u just have to look for it...

I'm sorry for what ur going thru... but keep your head up... good things come to those who wait... 🙂
 
Aawww, DG, you just put tears in my eyes... thank you.

(glad things got better for your parents. 😉)

Thank you again,
Gina
 
AMEN Diamond Girl! 🙂

Gina? I don't have kids but I sorta know what you're going thru. My parents don't make much and since I still live at home I take on most of the responsibilities bill wise. It's stressful and sometimes there's no where to turn but in circles but you gotta keep your head up. Sooner or later something has to give! And that's what I keep telling myself! :lol
 
4eVerFreeStyle said:
Aawww, DG, you just put tears in my eyes... thank you.

(glad things got better for your parents. 😉)

Thank you again,
Gina
Click to expand...
ur gonna make me cry... dont tell me i made u cry... :sosad... i hope i helped out a lil mama...

if u ever need to vent... u know da CF familia is here... 🙂
 
Gina, sounds like you aren't living within your means of Budget.

Remember this, just because you make good money, you still should always live within a budget.

Cut back on some of the things you buy. I know having your boys with the latest Hood ware is important, but look where you are at in Finances.

Have a talk with the boys. Discuss ways where they can help you in saving costs. I.e. Electrical usage and water bills. Perfect example: Do you leave the hot water running while you brush your Teeth? If you are, you are wasting gas that it takes to heat the water up and water usage itself. Right there could save you some cash when that bill comes around.
 
Gina, don't lose faith in god. I'm telling you because everything you described is ME. You're not alone. Any money I have goes to bills, and my kids. I feel like you do, they have to look better than me. And yes I have a hubby but it's only his income and it's hard with one income. I don't have many clothes either because I gained weight over the years myself and that's a sign of depression and struggling. That's why I'm moving to Florida. I have job opportunities over there already, my hubby too and although the salary is lower than NY, the cost of living is too. And when you get a check out there, you don't have all those state taxes coming out where they take like $400 out on all kinds of taxes and medicare and b.s.


Things will change. but sometimes you have to look for a solution yourself. God will lead you in the right direction.
 
grl i know what ur going through because that is the story of my life- trying to make ends meet (well actually my parents but i get sucked into it all too). We are always in debt and everytime my mom and my grandma get their income tax checks its gone in like a day and then we STILL have to pay a lot more stuff.
SoOoO i was thinking...about the clothes thing, maybe for your boy's upcoming birthdays you can ask people to buy them clothes (or give them gifts certificates to go shop at clothes stores) instead of toys or whatever. ALso, if you have unnecessary expenses (like lets say you smoke or something) try to cut back on it or try to quit altogether. Oh i was telling my mom (and maybe this can help you out), if you have those wholesale clubs that sell you things in bulk, i think that its worth a try, at least when it comes to groceries. Groceries are expensive and they dont last in my house so i think that the 35/40 dollars or w/e it is for the membership is, in the long run worth it.
I dont know what it is that you are doing to try to make ends meet so these are just suggestions. Oh yea and always try to save at least 5-10 dollars a week for those emergency expenses. Those are always the killers. I know its hard but somehow it has to be done. I also suggest you gather your bills and make a monthly planner (like the ones on executives' desks) and write down when ur bills are due each month so you can prioritize and send them on time to avoid late fees and all that junk.
I hope this helps ma.
 
put all your faith in GOD and he will do the rest for you... just believe and things will be ok.. trust me.. GOD is the one
 
I'm sorry to say, but not only putting faith foward is going to fix the problem. Yes keep your faith, but at the same time, fix your budget.

Think about it, I dont think telling her keeping her faith will fix it. It will help, but do you really think God will fix her Budget?

If you have a busted pipe, will your faith fix it? No...a plumber will. See what I'm saying?
 
Reber has a point there. But i think what others were saying was that Dios aprieta pero no ahorca and is why u should keep your faith.
 
hey reber i was just trying help ou here... dont make things worse... trust me
 
lil_reeses said:
Reber has a point there. But i think what others were saying was that Dios aprieta pero no ahorca and is why u should keep your faith.
Click to expand...

Yes that's exactly what we mean when we tell her to keep the faith. We all know God literally isn't going to teach her how to budget and fix her things. Duh?!!
 
lil_reeses said:
Reber has a point there. But i think what others were saying was that Dios aprieta pero no ahorca and is why u should keep your faith.
Click to expand...

Exactly 🙂
 
trust me I know what she means. It gets tight sometimes and you have to set priorities as far as what's important (financially) and what's not. For example I've cut cable tv (seen all the rerunned crap on there anyways) in order to save on costs. And I don't buy expensive clothes or splurge on anything unnecessary.

**as mentioned, if you sit and make a budget you'll see where your money goes and where you can cut back save a lil.....(alot of us spend unnecessary dollars on coffee, lunch or breakfast....make it at home and take it to work - it helps)
 
Faith is so important. I'm in the same boat right now. I only got my daughter, but I got the $1000 rent and believe it or not it's the cheapest you can find out where I live. My ex is stiffing me on the support. He makes $600 a week, rents a room for $300 a month and only manages to send $200 for my daughter(a month). It's tough, but I have faith things will work out. I'm going tommorow to child support inforcement, and that should help. I usualy am pretty good with my finances- I'm a big coupon person, so I can spend like $40 a week on food using like $80 in coupons. And for entertainment, I get videos from the library, where you can borrow them for free for 1 week. Remember life has the good times and the bad times. When things are bad it seems like nothing ever goes our way. That's when we gotta think of the most important things in our lives- God, our children, our life and be thankful for them. Never forget there have been hard times before. You survived those. You'll survive this. Good luck ma and never forget God is always with you and so are we.
 
hear say said:
hey reber i was just trying help ou here... dont make things worse... trust me
Click to expand...


Reber was not making things worse, just by stating facts.

Yes, she needs to keep her faith, but putting belief that God will take care of all is not going to work.

As someone who recently got himself out of debt, I can say that praying to God to fix it won't work. God helps those who help themselves.

Gina, Reber is right. You need to sit down, and create a budget. Look over all of your bills, and figure out what your total expenses are going out, and exactly how much money you have coming in, and then make all the cuts you can.
 
It Doesnt Take The Clothes To Impress!

YOU DONT HAVE TO IMPRESS A GUY BY WHAT YOU HAVE ON,WHAT YOU JUST WROTE,MADE ME INTERESTED,AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE.YOU SOUND LIKE A DAMN GOOD MOTHER,AND THEY ARE HARD TO FIND.KEEP YOUR HEAD UP.IF I WASNT INVOLVED,ID GIVE YOU A HOLA!!!!!!!!!
4eVerFreeStyle said:
Ok, I do try to stay positive (most of the time) especially here because I'm one to believe no one really wants to hear your problems unless they are family and/or friends, but I feel really down right now and just need to type.

I'm sure some of you know already, but for those who don't, I'm a single mom of two GROWING EVERY DAY boys and I guess I make discent money, but compared to the living expenses (my rent alone is $1,000) and that's not including heat/hot water and everything else....

anyway, my ex is great giving me the child support so it's not his fault or anything... but I just can't seem to make ends meet. Just when I think we're ok, something comes out of no where (need new sneakers because one of the kids got it caught in a fence, etc.).

Now summer is near and I can't fit into any of my clothes (gained over 30 lbs so NOTHING FITS) and my boys, well, of course nothing fits them from last year either. So not only do they need all new clothes, but so do I. And I can't afford to do it.

I'm not much of a dresser because honestly, I'd rather them look good then myself (since I can't afford to be buying me clothes too). I wear the same jogging suit every weekend because I own only that one and one pair of jeans.

I guess that's another reason why I don't try to meet a guy and start something because I have nothing to wear when we go out. So of course, it's a full circle of disappointments.

I don't play the lottery much, but when I do (with that last dollar I have in my hand thinking just maybe it'll bring us luck) I play... not wishing for it all, just enough.

Oh guys, thank you for reading this long ass letter (if you actually did all the way through). I guess I just needed to hear that I'm not the only one that has gone through this and that it will get better.

God Bless,
Gina
Click to expand...
 
Hey my love! Just like everyone here has said it takes time. I for one know exactly what you are going thru. I'm living it every day w/ my 2 rugrats. things are tough and like they said b4 God will only push u as far as he thinks u can go. He will never let u fall over that cliff. Just like Reber try to work out a budget for u. Here I am up to my ears drowning but I keep my head afloat. Try and put aside like 10 bucks a week if possible into some kind of savings and in no time u'll have a little rainy day money. at least u get help from ur kids father ma. I unfortunately have to struggle on my own. but keep ya head up....ur doing a gr8 job and u'r good fortune will come to u ;-)
 
Girl I got's to give it up to you,.. when you said you would rather have your children look good before your self,.. Thats a true Mother,. I know of other folks in a similiar situation that would have done the opposite of you. As with any time,.. they are hard and difficult,. but the Lord see's what your are doing and maybe not now right at this point in time,. but he shall bless you in many other way's. You are the true essence of what a mother should be. So many people's need to learn to do the instead of always thinking of Me Me Me,.. when they have children. Big Up's to your Girlfriend.



4eVerFreeStyle said:
Ok, I do try to stay positive (most of the time) especially here because I'm one to believe no one really wants to hear your problems unless they are family and/or friends, but I feel really down right now and just need to type.

I'm sure some of you know already, but for those who don't, I'm a single mom of two GROWING EVERY DAY boys and I guess I make discent money, but compared to the living expenses (my rent alone is $1,000) and that's not including heat/hot water and everything else....

anyway, my ex is great giving me the child support so it's not his fault or anything... but I just can't seem to make ends meet. Just when I think we're ok, something comes out of no where (need new sneakers because one of the kids got it caught in a fence, etc.).

Now summer is near and I can't fit into any of my clothes (gained over 30 lbs so NOTHING FITS) and my boys, well, of course nothing fits them from last year either. So not only do they need all new clothes, but so do I. And I can't afford to do it.

I'm not much of a dresser because honestly, I'd rather them look good then myself (since I can't afford to be buying me clothes too). I wear the same jogging suit every weekend because I own only that one and one pair of jeans.

I guess that's another reason why I don't try to meet a guy and start something because I have nothing to wear when we go out. So of course, it's a full circle of disappointments.

I don't play the lottery much, but when I do (with that last dollar I have in my hand thinking just maybe it'll bring us luck) I play... not wishing for it all, just enough.

Oh guys, thank you for reading this long ass letter (if you actually did all the way through). I guess I just needed to hear that I'm not the only one that has gone through this and that it will get better.

God Bless,
Gina
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top