How would you feel if...

[Nyasia]

You were the only parent around for your child, and all through life you have tried to be the best parent in the world to this child, you have to try and be the best mom and the best dad all at the same time. Give them the love a mom gives AND then turn around and give them the Strength a father is supposed to give and all because the other parent decides they don't want to be a parent to the child, or they feel that a letter here and there with money would suffice. All the years of being the absentee parent, then the parent shows up for one night and the child thinks everything is ok. Now you can't blame the child at all in this matter,but what does a person do? just let it go?

 

[LATINAHEAT]

I SEE IT LIKE THIS...IF ONE PARENT HAS NOT BEEN APART OF THE CHILD'S LIFE THEN ONE DAY POPS IN....THEN THE QUESTION IS, WAS IS JUST A VISIT FOR THIS ONE TIME ONLY OR DO THEY WANT TO SEE THE CHILD ON A MORE FREQUENT BASIS....IT HAS TO BE FOR SURE, CAUSE THIS OTHER PARENT CAN NOT JUST WALK IN AND OUT OF THIS CHILD'S LIFE WHEN EVER HE FEELS LIKE IT. IT CAN REALLY AFFECT A CHILD. I HAVE SEEN IT HAPPEN TO FRIENDS :confused

 

[Nyasia]

Thanks for your opinion Latinaheat. I see it the same way too. some will say it's never too late, I say too little too late. the parent wasn't thier in helping raise the child, or to hold the childs hand when it needed holding. Man I really wish puttin a hurtin on someone was legal!..LOLOL

 

[Sexyangel329]

All you can do is continue to be the best mom and dad you have been. Children are so forgiving, there were os many times my dad let me down growing up and in the end forgiveness was his. See no matter what children have this illusion or dream aboutt hat parent that isn't there and although the truth is always there for them to see in a heart beat all is forgiven because a littleof something is better then nothing. My brother is 15 years old his father has never been there for him let him down so many times growing up to the point where he reallized on his own his father wasn't a father that my mother to him was both now I know it hurts not to have dad there cause I grew up with mine far away all you can do as a mom is protect your child as best you can as you have.

 

[ted]

That is a tuff one,

In my case it got to the point where I sat my daughter down and we had a very long discussion about everything. At first I was concerned she would think I was attacking her mom, but after we talked and she thought about what I was saying she had a great understanding of how I felt and why I felt she was being cheated. She never got upset or held any grudges towards me or her mother. She was just able to see everyones point of view. She was 8 when we had this conversation, we are now closer then ever and understand the circumstances between me and her mother. Kid are stronger then we give them credit for.
I don't know if the kid your refering to will be old enough to understand. BUT I hope this kinda five you my answer.

 

[cArLiToS WaY]

Nyasia- To be honest with you, I don't think "he" deserves the honor of even being called a "parent".

He can't just walk in one day and play that fatherly role that he should've been 10, 15 years ago. Unfortunatly, it doesn't work that way.

But, look at it from your son's point of view. If that's what makes him happy (having his father around), then great. Let him enjoy the time that he does spend with his father. It's not your son's fault. As he gets older, he will look back and say "where was my father all these years". And it will only bring mother and son even closer.

I'm sure you did a hell of a job raising your child, along with the help of your mother. So YOU deserve all the credit. YOU deserve twice as much recognition.

So, just let it go for the time being. Let father and son enjoy themselves for the moment. Because, it may be another 15 years that you or your son won't hear from him.

(PS- I don't know anything about your personal life, Nyasia, but given the details in your posts, I can only speculate and offer this advice.)

C.

 

[Nyasia]

THANK YOU EVERYONE! As I expected he is gone, he left this morning without even sayin goodbye to his son, but then again that's him..he's always goin ghost.
Ted that is great.
Angie you know me mama, yo queria repartir bofetadas anoche!
Carlito for not knowing my personal life you got pretty close brotha!.lol muchas gracias.

I give thanks that my son and NYPRCAN get along so well, and that he thinks of him as a son. you know what's funny is that both men are in the military, both for the same amount of time, but in the one year that my son has known NYPRCAN he has given him more advise than his own father has, and has treated him more like a son too. Thank you Boo.

But like you guys said, I should just let it go, because I know he will dissapear again, and once again it will be mom holding it down. Thanks guys😉 I'm on my way to get his driving manual because of course I am teaching him how to drive! MY WAY!!!..LOLOL

 

[Cheryl phillips]

Hey Nyasia..I agree totally.My x does nothing and lives right down the street with my xbestfriend..a*****e!!I mean he drives right by Matteo (my son) like he aint even there!! So i say whats worse, that the father just doesnt come around,or that hes right there,right in front of the child,and doesnt bother.....I think the law should allow women to inflict pain on their deadbeat baby daddys!!...lol

 

[Krystal]

Apparently I'm late on this but anyway...

Naya you do so much for your children and you are to be commended for that. They or he will realize the truth of the situation as he gets older and realizes that YOU were the one there for him ALL the time. Just not some fly by night parent. Things will work themselves out in time. I know it hurts you to see your child get his hopes up only to have them come crashing down again, but in the long run...you just being there in the backround and not saying anything about it will benefit him more then trashing or beating🙂lol) said individual. 😉

 

[LaBettyBoop]

You know Naya it's really something for a single mother to go through, because I know personally I would want to kick the B*stard in his @*!#. But when you're dealing with a teenager, you're now caught in a catch 22. Why? Because you've raised them the best way you know how and this is where their judgement goes into effect. It's up to them to face the situation that they're very well informed about and use their own judgement on how to treat it and deal with it. And that could be scary but we're faced to deal with it.

 

[ROXYGURL]

i have been with my man for 6 1/2 years now and have 2 children. My first is not his child but the second one is. My man has been in my sons life since my baby has been 6 months old... and that who my first boy knows as his father. His father in the begining has not been there(in and out of jail)and now my first is almost 7, he wants to take part of his life! Oh hell NO! His "biological" father has not seen him scine he was 3 months old and now he wants be a part of his life!!!! How do i explain to him now? Well i came up with conclusion-he will not be a part of his life. My man hates him and is willing to fight to adopt him. And i am all for it. What do you guys think. Oh by the way, he was a 3striker and in and out of jail for drugs.


I COPIED THIS THREAD FROM A PREVIOUS POST-NOT ALMOST THE SAME BUT CLOSE.

 

[Lamatrix]

Coming from someone who knows first hand how it feels I can understand where you and your son come from. My mom boated on me when I was an infant coming back into my life when I was 14 trying to be a mom. I told her where was she for my birthday's? my first steps? my first tooth? my first day of school? my graduation? She left again with no info on where she could be reached. The sad thing is that my dad tried to do what was right for me and he got remarried giving me a new mom. I went through mental and physical abuse. I thank God that I was strong enough to make and grow up a strong woman. You are indeed a very special mom and your son knows this straight off da back. When he grows older and he becomes a man he will not forget that either. You have been a wonderful mother to him. Keep doing what you have been. The rewards later will be fruitful.

 

[Nyasia]

thank you very much ladies.

lala gracias del corazon gangsta😉

Cheryl, now that punk ass biotch deserves a beatdown and a half!

Roxygirl, I hear you ma.

Labettyboop, it's true what you said, he'll notice it himself.

Krystal, it's never too late to get good advice. thanks.