***Fruit Cake***

🤖 AI Summary

No AI summary has been generated for this thread yet.
tanktruck said:
I've received my first fruit cake of the holidays. One of my client's family member brought into my office today. I said thanks and all but I hate fruit cake!! I'm sorry but green cherries freak me out!! lol
Click to expand...
what you do is give it to someone else. unfortunaltly u never had my aunts fruit cake i sware it must have been 150 proof he started in like september and every day she would pour rum all over it think barcardi 151
 
Exactly Chuck...fruits already colourful...no need to add colour
 
What can I say, but re-wrap and re-goft to that one person you don't want to get a present for but feel you have to. Unless you're like me and feel like you have to be nice and at least try a piece and then wind up quite ill.
 
Re-gift...maybe that's why the fruit cake gets so hard 😛
 
The many uses for fruitcake. Part 1:




*A doorstop. Trust me, it works great.



*Freeze it. As a single person, it would help my freezer to look full and people would think that I actually ate at home.

*Bird food. Fruitcake is considered a delicacy (just like cat in china--gross!) to the poor little birds that can't remember to fly south and stay here during the blasted windchills. Just put it out on the deck and watch them flock and chirp with excitement!

*If it has a hole in the middle I use it for a dog dish

*Once I got a flat tire and my mini-spare was flat as well. It was a good thing that grandma's fruitcake was along. I just shoved it onto the wheel studs, bolted 'er down and it got me to a gas station. Of course, the best use for fruitcakes is when you get one for a gift, you simply save it until the following year and give it to someone else.

*I recycle it as a gift to more people (incidentally, you can do the same with gift baskets. Just take out all the good stuff, wrap it in Saran Wrap and send it on to the next person. Hmmm.. Maybe that's why gift baskets never have anything nice in them...)

*If you get enough fruitcakes you can build a wall.

*Bookends.

*lampshades.

*You can hit burglars with them.

*Some people put them on chairs for kids to sit on to reach the table.

*fly swatter.

*VCR head cleaner.

*percussion practice.

*I use it as a weight in the back of my car, to keep me from sliding on the ice...

*Fruit cake as an animal tranquilizer. Feed it too your pet and they won't move for days afterward....they'll be too HEAVY to move for days afterward. (Caution- use in small doses. Fruit cake is just as hazardous to animals as it is to humans.)

*let the fruitcake harden to an absolute solid, then strategically place yourself on the roof of a high building from which your intended target shall soon emerge. a silent, untraceable, unexpected, undetectable deadly weapon. plus, if you get caught you might even plea it as an accident.

*I leave it outside for the hungry animals. [Talk about cruelty to animals!!]

*Make Christmas ornaments out of them!

*Use them as a cat littler scoop!

*Kitty litter (if it's so old it crumbles)

*Break them up and disperse them on the icy streets instead of salt or sand, which are hard on cars.

*Use fruitcake to "anesthetize" your little sister when she has a little to much energy.

*use it as a decorative base for a miniature Christmas tree (it's certainly dense enough to hold a tree steady - and it has that lovely brown look of a tree trunk)

*a energy-saving replacement for coal in someone's Christmas stocking (I mean, really, the coal can be put to much better use, whereas there is not better use for a fruitcake)

*It would also make a heating stone--warm it up and use it to warm your bed.

*It's actually another kind of superconductor, so power companies use it.

*Substitute sandbag

*Boat anchor

*Dartboard

*Fill in pot-holes

*Sponge

*Speedbump

*I hid my camera and other valuables under a piece of fruitcake so thieves won't touch it.

*Discus (or shot put depending on weight)
 
Yup Yup...I like the feeding it to the birds idea
 
I wonder if that's a factor on why so many poor birds fly into windows? Fruitcake intoxication?
 
LMAO Dianita you are too hilarious....I know a few people I'd like to drop a fruitcake on!
 
STICK YOUR PRICK IN IT,AND SEND IT TO YOUR WORSE ENEMY!!!!! AS A PIECE OFFERING!!!!
tanktruck said:
I've received my first fruit cake of the holidays. One of my client's family member brought into my office today. I said thanks and all but I hate fruit cake!! I'm sorry but green cherries freak me out!! lol
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top