Ever felt like bitch-slapping your best friend?

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Brklyn345

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Why is it that when peeps get dickmatized they forget who their friends are? WTF? I asked my best friend of 4 years to come over to my place and chill and he said no....because his man said so! This guy that he's known only for 7 months and already my friend is getting ready to move to Philly....the worst part is this guy is letting his issues over a past love dictate his relationship with my friend, and he's going along with it! And he knows better than that. I mean I understand peeps are gonna have issues when they break up with someone but dayum if they run so deep then one should stay out of relationships until they settle that.
 
damn honey, i been there SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO many times the only thing u can do is wait until the damage is done (b/c it will be done) and then bitch slap ur friend, then hug him and tell him u still luv him!
 
Brklyn, just keep in mind you will be the first one he turns to "when the pieces fall", but don't say, "I told you so.", even though it will be hard.
 
I told you so...best words to say, worst words to hear....I just wish he would take time for himself...he wears his heart on his sleeve and is so trusting, and refuses to see the bad in people even when it drops on him like an anvil.
 
I guess its true what they say: LOVE makes you do stupid crap, especially if you are STUPID enough to go along with it!
 
ChuckD said:
Brklyn, just keep in mind you will be the first one he turns to "when the pieces fall", but don't say, "I told you so.", even though it will be hard.
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I know what Brklyn can say: when the s*** hits the fan, he can tell his friend how much he's hurt by the fact that he would give up a 4-year best friendship over a dude. Boyfriends come and go -- and even if a boyfriend is a potential life partner, it should not be any reason to ditch a friendship.

Your friend is not doing anything but hurting himself. Remember that.
 
been there soooo many times....you tend to think as you get older your friends will grow out of it.....unfortunately the only thing you can do is tell ur friend how you honestly feel now, dont wait til later, and sit back, relax, and pray for the best....good luck
 
Brklyn345,

If you become famous, your friend will wish he didn't throw you in the dump like that.

I don't know man, LOVE should not be a reason for someone to throw your 4 year friendship down the toilet. I still think its messed up what your friend did to you.
 
Hey Brklyn, maybe your better off, some friends just use and abuse you then throw you away, with friends like that who needs enemas!!!
 
EmeryTorres said:
Hey Brklyn, maybe your better off, some friends just use and abuse you then throw you away, with friends like that who needs enemas!!!
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You know what I'm saying! I totally agree with you. And this is why I can relate -- I've had it done to me by my so-called friends in the past, and I've had to drop them like a bad habit.

Bklyn, just remember, your best friend is doing this now, but he will feel so isolated that he will need you in the end (but won't admit it either). And I also see signs of his partner controlling him too. Your best friend is being way too submissive.
 
Brklyn, send us an update, let us know what's happening. 🙂
 
I told my friend that if his man has serious issues, then they both really need to rethink this whole thing....and this isn't the first time that my friend has done this to me....last year, he said that he would come with me to take an HIV test....the day of the test came and he bailed on me so he could meet with his ex and try to patch things up....and here's the kicker: they broke up because his ex tried to hit on me!!! I mean the guy crossed the line and my friend is "oh well sorry but I still love him so I gotta try"....friendship is something that is so sacred to me and a few have ended because of a goddamn man...AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!
 
Brklyn345 said:
I told my friend that if his man has serious issues, then they both really need to rethink this whole thing....and this isn't the first time that my friend has done this to me....last year, he said that he would come with me to take an HIV test....the day of the test came and he bailed on me so he could meet with his ex and try to patch things up....and here's the kicker: they broke up because his ex tried to hit on me!!! I mean the guy crossed the line and my friend is "oh well sorry but I still love him so I gotta try"....friendship is something that is so sacred to me and a few have ended because of a goddamn man...AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!
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See, you already know that a man should not have to come between a friendship. It is your friend that has a problem with not knowing the true value of a friendship, let alone keeping friends in his life, because of a boyfriend. People like that become very isolated once they keep letting a man take precedence over anything and everything in their lives, and I'm talking friends, family, career, etc. They show signs of giving up everything for their man, even if it means sacrificing their own dreams/goals. And then they have noone to come to once they face misfortune. I hope it doesn't get to the point where he lets his boyfriend control him. He needs to see that love does not mean letting the one you love control you.
 
It's already at that point, Chica...and you are absolutely right when you say that he is being very submissive. The guy has such low self-esteem that he will settle for anybody, because he is so scared of being alone. But ever since he's been with this guy, I always have to schedule my plans around his day off and when it comes time to hang out, he either tells me at the last minute that he's going to be with his man, or that his man said he can't hang....so it's clear to me that his decision has been made and where his loyalties lie. And it's not like he's new to this whole relationship thing....the man is 43 years old. But he's never been one to listen to reason. So I'm gonna take Nessa & Bobby's advice and step back and watch him fall.....I just pray that if the impact doesn't kill him, it will at least knock some sense into him.
 
Sweetie I would suggest you step away and put the phone down dont call him. Your a great friend because it actually upsets you and gets to you how gullable yuor friend can be when it comes to matters of the heart but you also have to put yuor foot down you arent a stepping stool either and there has to be respect ion friendships yea yor great for alwatys being there for him but if he isnt doing the same for you what are you getting out of it aside from stress and worries about what he will do next. Let him know your tired you will be there when he needs you but also make him aware that he cant depend on you to make it all better when the walls come crashing down. It sint right to put a man/woman before a friendship specially when nothing in life is guaranteed specially not relationships.
 
Brklyn345 said:
It's already at that point, Chica...and you are absolutely right when you say that he is being very submissive. The guy has such low self-esteem that he will settle for anybody, because he is so scared of being alone. But ever since he's been with this guy, I always have to schedule my plans around his day off and when it comes time to hang out, he either tells me at the last minute that he's going to be with his man, or that his man said he can't hang....so it's clear to me that his decision has been made and where his loyalties lie. And it's not like he's new to this whole relationship thing....the man is 43 years old. But he's never been one to listen to reason. So I'm gonna take Nessa & Bobby's advice and step back and watch him fall.....I just pray that if the impact doesn't kill him, it will at least knock some sense into him.
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Sometimes you have to let them see for themselves. Sometimes they have to fall very hard in order to get it. It saddens me that your friend does not have high self-esteem and is very dependent on someone. Its like he can't think for himself. I'm so sorry he put you through all of this trouble.

Don't stress yourself out anymore over this. You go on and live your life and do what you got to do. Let him deal with the situation. You've been a true friend to him all of this time and he decided to hurt your feelings. You are young just like me, live your life and don't let someone like him make you feel bad and stop you from moving forward in life. I can relate to you so much because it's been done to me before. This is the reason why I have trust issues with people who are like that.
 
I also wanted to say that if he asks you to hang out with him....tell him NO. He seems to change things at the last minute anyway, so tell him NO, and then give your reason behind it.

Now its time for you to put yourself first. Act like you have more important things to do. Give him a taste of his own medicine so he can see how it feels to be left in the dust.
 
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