Cheating....

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ROXYGURL

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Would you forgive if this is the first time that this person did it to you? No sex , just kissed and talked on the phone behind your back for about 2 weeks. Girls i need your advice. :rolleyes
 
No girly pooh... don't settle for less. that's not even right man. they should not be doing theese kinds of things to you. and you should not be letting it happen. girl guys come and go. i'm pretty sure you can find someone that doesn't do that to you. and hhhhheeeelllll nnnnoooo i would not forgive someone for doing that to me. i'd be like peace!!!!! you did what you thought was right for you and not what you thought was right for us. he obviously was not thinking about your feelings when he did that at the moment.
 
The only way you can forgive him is if you done the same on the DL lol

If not...if you a good serious girl..then you should not forgive him.
 
You let it slide once, you better be prepared to let it slide the next time, and the next, and the next. If you don't put an end to it now, you will wish you never met this person, sometime in the future. Once a cheater always a cheater, it goes for women also, (so the boys won't think I am sexist).
 
You are 100% Gabbi! :cheers

It's best to attack this problem quickly and early in a relationship before putting so much dedication into it and watching it burn down like a bridge in the long run.
 
no, no, no, no, no!!! my policy is once a cheater ALWAYS a cheater!! i also think that the kind of cheating you described is worse than having sex. cause people can have sex (ex. a one night stand) and move on and not get emotionally attached. but when you are chatting on the phone and getting to know someone, you can become attached emotionally.
Good luck, Roxy!!
 
well guys, i have been with this man for 9 years and we have 2 kids. I have never until this day doubted this man. This is sooooo hard, and i just keep replaying it in my head. Yes, i do believe once a cheater always a cheater, but some people do change, for instance my dad. He played my mom for 2 years and my mom took him back. They are going on 30+ years of marriage now.This girl knew about me.. let me tell ya.. if i can only get my hands on her.. ITS ON! Im not only blaming her either, its both of them.
 
Now that definately makes it alot harder, because there's the kids to think about. He has to realized that he just took all the trust out of the relationship. Would he be into couple's counseling or something along that line. It's something that you're both going to have to work very hard at, especially him. He needs to work to earn your trust all over again. There are a few things to take into consideration...Are you two married? And how did you find out? Did he fess up to you or you found out some other way? There's positives and negatives to staying and for leaving. If this behavior reoccurs, your children will be getting the idea that this is how a relationship is. Remember that they live by example, and you and your man are setting the example for them. Is that the life that you want for them as an adult? Good luck.
 
Dianta-
I found out, by the cell phone.Not his cell phone- she gave him one! He must of have told her that i check his cell phone, cause we have detailed billing. When i confronted him, he fessed up. He was crying and all that and said he doesnt want to lose his family. He said he loves me and the boys and its not worth it. We have been together since he was 15 and me 17. So im really the only seroius relationship he has had. Maybe temptaion got the best of him, someone else noticing him, not just me. Like i said 9 years is along time to be with 1 person and we started off young. Do you think it could be temptaion? Seeing what if feels like to be with someone else? No we are not married and really never pressed the issue. Everything was going great.
 
Like I mentioned, it's a hard decision to make. But it is a decision that ultimately come from within you. Our advice is that...advice, ideas. Otherwise one day will come and you might wind up asking "Why did I listen...?" or why didn't you. I'm sure you've heard it before, but I've never seen many relationships that started when people are that young that truely last. The one thing you mentioned that does have me a bit worried is that she got him a cel phone, so the deceit was a thought out planned thing. And yeah, he had to fess up. You found the evidence...and ma they always cry when their caught. Maybe though he realizes he screwed up. I'd really suggest some type of couples counseling. Obviously he has some issues that need to be taken care of. Remember whatever you do, we are here for you.
 
wow, 9 years and 2 kids..........you didn't tell me that Roxy!!! gotta think about that one and get back to you!!
 
michelle28 said:
wow, 9 years and 2 kids..........you didn't tell me that Roxy!!! gotta think about that one and get back to you!!
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Sorry! It makes it more complicated. My children are old enough to know whats going on- 6 and 9. But they dont know. Alot of people are telling me to work it out, cause of our history. We have 2cars,joint everything, house and kids. I just keep asking myself why? Do you think its temptation on his part-to see if the grass is really greenier on the other side?
 
it may be temptation, honey, but he will see that the grass IS NOT greener over there and he will be back! trust me! if it can be worked out, then i say do it. but he has to know that this is something you will not tolerate and if he can't be with just you, well then that is his problem. alot of women will keep taking back cheating men and the men know this, but since this is your mans first offense, train him now to understand that that was the first and last time you'll ever forgive him for it. if it happens again, he's history!! good luck girl. its a tough situation!!
keep us posted!!
 
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