Can't get this girl outta my MIND!

Putana

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Alright, I'm in the mood to get this off my chest & used to come here a lot to do it...so I'm gonna do it anyway & there probably won't be more than FIVE of you who reads it. But any input...even ONE response, would be nice.

I've been married for quite some time now....me & my wife seperated back in '06 for almost the whole year (HER doing by the way, she was "out of love" as she claims). Needless to say, I was depressed, down on myself, esteem on the floor & lonely. Only several months later did I start to go out again, take some Salsa dance classes (TOO fun & kept my mind off things) & even DATE!

There was a girl I'll call "La Cubanita" I worked with I always had a physical attraction for. She was married too, but wouldn't ya know it, went through a SEPERATION herself around the same time! Let's just say we found EACH OTHER as company during this harsh time in our lives. Granted she doesn't have the best of personalities, but she is 100% my type in the LOOKS dept (shallow, I know, but I'm spittin' the truth).

All through this, I still loved my wife dearly, my wife found out about us and started catching "feelings" for me again (how convenient). I don't resent her for the seperation...I had some temper problems back then I'm still trying to resolve & I think it HELPED.

"La Cubanita" also got back with her husband. You'd think its a "happily ever after" right?...It is now 2008, and I still THINK about her...more than I SHOULD! Granted when I'm doing the "deed" with the wife, I'm not "imagining" its La Cubanita by any means, but I often find myself wondering what she's doing, where she's at & whether had our lives taken a different path, if WE would've worked (I doubt it, she's as STUBBORN as a MULE).

is this wrong? I could NEVER tell my wife. My wife knew me & "la cubanita" were together unofficially during our seperation & she holds no resentment either...but I can't get HER (la cubanita) out of my friggin' MIND! Did I accidentally fall in love?!?! God, I hope not. If this is infatuation, its got a strong shelf life because its been almost 2 full years & my memories are STILL fresh.

Anyway, I've confessed enough. What do ya'll think is wrong with me? Maybe I should see a "professional" to see if they can figure out my heart & mind...what did this cubanita do to me? its some "voodoo" s*** I tell ya!
 

Putana

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Wow, a response after almost two months.

Better late then never eh?

Believe it or not, she still wanders around in there...in fact, I was feeling pretty depressed last Thursday (or was it Friday?) because I got to thinking...reminiscing....its pretty stupid I know, but it happens every now & then & it gets me down.

And I know I SHOULDN'T be down & should be very grateful for TODAY...but...ah, forget justifying...
 
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