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  #1  
Old 10-11-2001, 09:12 AM
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8th-Sin 8th-Sin is offline
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Funny

One night, a father passed by his son's room and heard his son praying:
"God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa."
The father didn't quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was
praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart
attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but
was still a bit spooked.
The next night, he heard his son praying again: "God bless Mommy and
Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma."
The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough,
the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.
Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son's door the
next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: "God bless Mommy.
Ta ta, Daddy."
Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to
the doctor's early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he
finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, "Thank God
you're here -- we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on
our porch this morning!"
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  #2  
Old 10-11-2001, 09:23 AM
marlene marlene is offline
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BAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!! LOL!!

good one 8th
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  #3  
Old 10-11-2001, 09:26 AM
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LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 that was a good one!!..
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  #4  
Old 10-11-2001, 10:13 AM
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LMAO...
GOOD ONE
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  #5  
Old 10-11-2001, 10:47 AM
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HEHE

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  #6  
Old 10-11-2001, 11:24 AM
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Jake, Johnny, and Billy Bob went to the rodeo.

Unfortunately, a big bull jumped the fence into the spectators and they were trampled to death.

Being good God-fearing men, they ascended to Heaven where they were met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter.

He said, "Welcome to Heaven, gentlemen. I'm sure you'll be quite
comfortable here, but I must warn you that we do have our rules in Heaven. If you break them, you'll be punished. One rule is, never step on a duck. If you step on a duck, the duck quacks, then they all quack, and it just goes on and on."

That sounded simple enough. They passed through the Pearly Gates and were surprised to find there were ducks everywhere! In no time at all, Jake stepped on one. The duck quacked, then they all quacked, they made a terrible racket and it just went on and on.

Pretty soon along came St. Peter with a terribly homely woman in tow.

"I warned you that if you broke the duck rule you'd be punished." He chained the homely woman to Jake and said, "You will be together forever," and walked away.

Sometime later, despite his best efforts, Johnny accidentally stepped on a
duck. The duck quacked, then they all quacked and made a terrible commotion that just went on and on.

Sure enough, along came St. Peter with an even homelier woman. "I warned you that if you broke the duck rule you'd be punished." With that, he chained the woman to Johnny and said, "The two of you will be together for all eternity," and walked away.

Well, Billy Bob was very careful not to step on a duck. One day St. Peter came along with a drop dead gorgeous blonde. He chained her to Billy Bob and said, "You will be together now and forever more," and walked away.

Billy Bob exclaimed, "Wow, I wonder what I did to deserve this?"

"I don't know about you," said the beautiful woman, "But I stepped on a
duck."
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  #7  
Old 10-11-2001, 11:27 AM
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HAHAHHAHAHAH!! that was good Doos!!>.lolol
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  #8  
Old 10-11-2001, 11:53 AM
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An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area.

Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse
named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled,
"Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move.

Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't
respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Cocoa, pull!" Nothing.

Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the
horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the
farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times.

The farmer said, "Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the
only one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
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  #9  
Old 10-11-2001, 12:11 PM
marlene marlene is offline
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AWWW AT THE FIRST STORY DOOS! HAHA THAT WAS A HELLA GOOD ONE!!

LOL THE LAST ONE WAS GOOD TOO!
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  #10  
Old 10-11-2001, 02:32 PM
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I say you both still suck!! No hitch hiker jokes!!!
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  #11  
Old 10-11-2001, 02:42 PM
doos doos is offline
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SPIRAL

SUCK DIS
LOL.....
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  #12  
Old 10-12-2001, 01:08 PM
doos doos is offline
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A lonely spinster, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married. She put an ad in the local paper that read: "HUSBAND WANTED, must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed! All applicants apply in person."

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheel chair. He had no arms or legs. The woman said: "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs!"

The old man smiled: "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"

She snorted: "You don't have any hands either!"

Again the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently: "Are you still good in bed?"

With that, the old gentleman beamed a broad smile: "I rang the doorbell
didn't I?"
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  #13  
Old 10-12-2001, 01:12 PM
doos doos is offline
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Two lovers interested in spiritualism and reincarnation vowed that if either died, the other one remaining would try to contact the partner in the
other world exactly 30 days after their dying. As luck would have it, a few weeks later the young man died in a car wreck. True to her word, his sweet-heart tried to contact him in the spirit world exactly 30 days later.

At the seance, she called out, "John, dear John; this is Martha. Do
you hear me?"

A ghostly voice answered her, "Yes Martha, this is John; I can hear
you."

Martha tearfully asked, "Oh John, what is it like where you are?"

"It's beautiful. There are azure skies, a soft breeze, sunshine most
of the time."

"Well what do you do all day," asked Martha.

"Well Martha, we get up before sunrise, eat some good breakfast, and
there's nothing but sex until noon. After lunch, we nap until two and
then have more sex until about five. After dinner, we go at it again
until we fall asleep about 11pm."

Martha was somewhat taken aback. "Is that what heaven really is like?"

"Heaven? I'm not in heaven Martha."

"Well then where are you?"

"I'm a jack rabbit in Arizona."
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  #14  
Old 10-12-2001, 01:14 PM
doos doos is offline
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Oh Osama Bin Laden,
You Son Of A Bitch,
May Your Balls Develop
A seven Year Itch!
May Your Pecker Be Twisted
In Such A Manner,
That Your Asshole Whistles
The Star Spangled Banner.


THERE YOU GOES PPL ENJOY THE JOKES

LMAO........
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  #15  
Old 10-12-2001, 01:18 PM
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Try again!!
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  #16  
Old 10-12-2001, 01:30 PM
doos doos is offline
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AIGHT NEXT TIME NEXT TIME
LOL...
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  #17  
Old 10-12-2001, 03:18 PM
MakeYaDance MakeYaDance is offline
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LOL I heard that one before 8th but it's still funny.
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  #18  
Old 10-12-2001, 03:21 PM
mario mario is offline
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LOL

those are good ones man
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