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Freestyle Forum: hell hath no fury
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  #1  
Old 06-17-2004, 03:35 PM
foreverlove's Avatar
foreverlove foreverlove is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Same Sh*T Different Day
Age: 44
Posts: 34
foreverlove
Smile hell hath no fury

After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young
Secretary.

His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the couple's
multimillion dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a little
better, he prevailed. He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out.

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful
dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and
feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of
Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a
few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the
curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
everything; cleaning &mopping and airing the place out. Vents were
checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners
were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which
they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused
to work in the house...The maid quit...

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.



A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could
not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually,
even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her
the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she
missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce
settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on
price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only
if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the
hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they
watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...



...including the curtain rods.

I love a happy ending, don't you?
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  #2  
Old 06-28-2004, 09:54 PM
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Krystal Krystal is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: New Orleans, LA
Age: 49
Posts: 24,850
Krystal will become famous soon enough
:hohsit

ROFFLMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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I'm not crazy...I'm just a little unwell! :stoned -MB20
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  #3  
Old 07-03-2004, 09:53 PM
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Vinss-T Vinss-T is offline
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Location: W of Toronto
Age: 32
Posts: 3,304
Vinss-T is an unknown quantity at this point
wow LMAO! :lol that's an awesome story.
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  #4  
Old 07-03-2004, 10:04 PM
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La Mas Grande La Mas Grande is offline
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Location: representing Bushwick
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La Mas Grande is on a distinguished road
THAT AWESOME

:lol
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  #5  
Old 07-26-2004, 03:40 PM
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Melly22 Melly22 is offline
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lol
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