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Freestyle Forum: How To Translate Personal Ads
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  #1  
Old 03-29-2004, 11:35 PM
*Sophia*'s Avatar
*Sophia* *Sophia* is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Staten Island
Age: 46
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How To Translate Personal Ads

HOW TO TRANSLATE PERSONAL ADS:

WOMEN'S ADS:
40-ish...................................49
Adventurer.............................Slept with all your friends
Athletic..................................No tits
Average looking......................Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful................................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile....................Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..........................Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure.................Medicated
Feminist..................................Fat ball buster
Free spirit...............................Junkie
Friendship first................Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun......................................Annoying
Gentle...................................Comatose
Good Listener........................Borderline Autistic
New-Age...............................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned.......Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded..........................Desperate
Outgoing................................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate..............................Sloppy drunk
Poet.......................................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional............................Certified Bitch
Redhead.................................Bad dye-job
Reubenesque...........................Grossly Fat
Romantic................................Looks better by candle light
Social..............Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous.............................Very Fat
Height/weight proportional.......Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate......................Stalker
Widow................................Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart. .......................Old bat




MEN'S ADS:
40-ish....................................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic...................................Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking...........Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, &back
Educated..............................Will patronize the shit out of you
Free Spirit........... ...................Banging your sister
Friendship first...................As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun.................................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking...........................Arrogant
Very good looking....................Dumb as a board
Honest....................................Pathological Liar
Huggable.......................Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle........................Insecure mama's boy
Mature....................................Older than your father
Open-minded....Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit............................Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet.......................Wrote ex-girlfriend's phone number on a bathroom stall
Sensitive..................................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive...........................Gay
Spiritual....................................Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable..........................Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful......................Says "Excuse me" when he farts
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  #2  
Old 03-29-2004, 11:40 PM
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taezee taezee is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: moved to joysee
Age: 53
Posts: 4,131
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what the fuk does 'down to earth??" mean?? thats in every profile!!! :freek
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  #3  
Old 03-30-2004, 10:41 PM
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ChuckD ChuckD is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Essex County, New Jersey
Age: 50
Posts: 24,485
ChuckD will become famous soon enough
lmao
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