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  #1  
Old 07-15-2001, 10:18 PM
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Sexyangel329 Sexyangel329 is offline
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Talking Funny

I THOUGHT THIS WAS FUNNY SO I HAD TO SHARE THEM WITH YA'LL YOU .

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.



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  #2  
Old 07-15-2001, 10:40 PM
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LMAOOOO
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  #3  
Old 07-15-2001, 10:48 PM
toni toni is offline
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Talking

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized



ahahahah....
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  #4  
Old 07-15-2001, 11:59 PM
chyqo
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i liked:

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

hehehe

toni u sooo craaaaaaazy!
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  #5  
Old 07-16-2001, 02:11 AM
*~LebenezFStyler~* *~LebenezFStyler~* is offline
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Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.


that was funny....
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  #6  
Old 07-16-2001, 06:28 AM
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Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

that was funny
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  #7  
Old 07-16-2001, 07:32 AM
Blankita32 Blankita32 is offline
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LMAO!!!!!
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Sonri para mi!

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  #8  
Old 07-16-2001, 07:38 AM
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LMAO........
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  #9  
Old 07-16-2001, 08:14 AM
Rocko Rocko is offline
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Angry YO!!!

Whats up with the Male bashing??

Joke of the day...I should post this by itself being that it's "Prime Material."

A car was pulled over by a highway patrolman for speeding. As the officer
was writing the ticket, he noticed several machetes in the car. "What are
those for?" he asked suspiciously. "I'm a juggler," the man replied. "I use
those in my act." "Well, show me," the officer demanded. The juggler took
out the machetes and started juggling them; first three, then more until he
was tossing seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back,
putting on a dazzling show in the breakdown lane and amazing the officer.
Just then, another car passed by. The driver did a double take, and said,
"My God. I've got to give up drinking, Look at the test they're giving
now!"
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  #10  
Old 07-16-2001, 08:34 AM
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I AM GLAD YOU GUYS LIKED I THOUGHT THEY WERE CUTE
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  #11  
Old 07-16-2001, 08:56 AM
Putana Putana is offline
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Let's just make this a joke thread...

OK, I got one, its a bit racy, but no one should be offended (that includes Jack ) :

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.''
The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?''
The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.''
Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....''
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  #12  
Old 07-16-2001, 09:00 AM
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PUTANA THAT WAS FUNNY LMAO
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  #13  
Old 07-16-2001, 09:15 AM
doos doos is offline
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DANG PPL BE TAKIN MY JOKES LOL.... IM KIDDING
I POSTED THOSE JOKES ALONG TIME AGO BUT THERE STILL FUNNY
LOL.....
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  #14  
Old 07-16-2001, 10:01 AM
doos doos is offline
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An elderly Italian Jewish man wanted to unburden his guilty conscience by talking to his Rabbi. "Rabbi, during World War 2, when the Germans entered Italy, I pretended to be a Catholic and changed my name from Levy to Spamoni, and I am alive today because of it."

"Self preservation is allowable, and the fact that you never forgot that you were a Jew is admirable," said the Rabbi.

"Rabbi, during the war, a beautiful Jewish woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. I hid her in my attic and they never found her."

"That was a wonderful thing you did and you have no need to feel guilty."

"It's worse Rabbi. I was weak and told her she must repay me with sexual favors, which she did, repeatedly."

"You were both in great danger and would have suffered terribly if the
Germans had found her. There is a favorable balance between good and evil, and you will be judged kindly. Give up your feelings of guilt."

"Thank you, Rabbi. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one more question."

"And what is that?"

"Should I tell her the war is over?"
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  #15  
Old 07-16-2001, 10:36 AM
Rocko Rocko is offline
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Sad part...

Sad part about Putana's Joke.....It's the truth.
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  #16  
Old 07-16-2001, 10:58 AM
doos doos is offline
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WHATS THE DEALS NO ONE GOT MORE JOKES COME ON NOW
WHERES MAKEYADANCE OR
BORICUA WIT THE JOKES
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  #17  
Old 07-16-2001, 11:19 AM
*~LebenezFStyler~* *~LebenezFStyler~* is offline
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LOL To All The Jokes...
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  #18  
Old 07-16-2001, 11:24 AM
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Talking LMAO

TOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!

KEEP THEM COMING!!! THE JOKES THAT IS!!!!
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  #19  
Old 07-16-2001, 11:30 AM
doos doos is offline
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God came down and first he went to the Germans and said, "I have Commandments for you that will make your lifes better."

And the Germans asked, "what are Commandments?"

And the Lord said, "Rules for living."

"Can you give us an example?"

"Thou shalt not kill."

"Not kill? We're not interested."

So He went to the Italians and said, "I have Commandments."

And the Italians wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not steal."

"Not steal? We're not interested."

He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."

The French wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife."

"Not covet my neighbor's wife? We're not interested."

He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."

"Commandments? How much are they?"

"They're free."

"Good then, we'll take 10!"
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  #20  
Old 07-16-2001, 12:25 PM
Angeleyes Angeleyes is offline
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Exclamation

Warning: joke below is bit racy/risque, read at own risk lol & not meant to offend anyone in anyway -

Joke #1:
One day in the future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first room.
In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day," commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying
on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush took this in disbelief and finally said, "Yea, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go."

Joke #2:
A pregnant woman from a ghetto area walked into a doctor's office to have an ultrasound. The doctor told her that she is going to have a little girl. He then asked her what she will name her daughter. She said, Kesheika.
He asked her, Do you have any other children?
She said, Five other daughters, and their names are also Kesheika. At that point the doctor asked, How do you call them all home for dinner? She replied, dat cool mi just bawl out, Kesheika, dinna ready and they all come home. He then asked, What if your going somewhere? She said, dat easy too, mi just call Kesheika come nuh and they all come running.
He questioned her again, What if you only want to speak
with one of them? Well then mi just call dem by dem las name!

***Jack sweetie pls take into consideration that a warning sign was posted...before you delete away ... ***
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  #21  
Old 07-16-2001, 12:39 PM
doos doos is offline
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LMBO... TOOO FUNNY
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  #22  
Old 07-16-2001, 01:06 PM
*~LebenezFStyler~* *~LebenezFStyler~* is offline
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LOL, Funny

Where Ya Get This Jokes From?? All I Get Is The Wack Jokes In my E-mail....
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  #23  
Old 07-16-2001, 04:01 PM
DJ Jiggly DJ Jiggly is offline
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  #24  
Old 07-17-2001, 11:33 AM
doos doos is offline
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A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his mother asking him to send her a current picture. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts one in half and sends her the top part.

Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but accidentally sends the bottom half. He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong part, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight is and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Change your hair style...it makes your nose look too long."
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  #25  
Old 07-17-2001, 11:47 AM
Putana Putana is offline
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Ah Doos! them jokes was a trip man! I got an old school one that Red Fox told EONS ago, but still works:

An American Indian, a Boricua, a black man & a white man were all standing a top this big *ss mountain.

The American Indian busts out with, "This is for my people", & jumps off the mountain.

the Boricua punches his chest like Tarzan & says, "This is for MY gente", & jumps off the mountain too.

The Black man gets up, looks over the ledge & says, 'This is for MY people..."












So he throws the white man off the mountain!



I still think that b*tch is funny! Hardy-Har!!!
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