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Freestyle Forum: ™FR3ESTYLEKING'S OFFICIAL JOKEBOOK
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  #101  
Old 10-28-2002, 02:08 AM
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1sxychica 1sxychica is offline
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oh fak hahahahaha
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  #102  
Old 10-28-2002, 02:12 AM
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oh shiat lol
thats too funny
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  #103  
Old 10-28-2002, 03:33 PM
FR3ESTYLEKING FR3ESTYLEKING is offline
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Post HAHAHA funny

Here you go..........


The blind daters had really hit it off and at the end of the evening, as they were beginning to undress each other in his apartment, the fellow said, "Before we go any further, Carmen, tell me - do you have any special fetishes that I should take into account in bed?"

"As a matter of fact," smiled the girl, "I do happen to have a foot
fetish -but I suppose I'd settle for maybe seven or eight inches."

____________________
From the outset, the blind date was a fiasco and it was intensified by the fact that the fellow was too insensitive and ego-ridden to realize it. The moment of truth came in the supper club as he clutched the girl's thigh and whispered, "Baby, how's about our cutting out to my pad so I can slip you nine inches?"

There was a moment of silence, and then the girl said, "You know, I
really don't think you could get it up three times in a row!"

____________________
Little Johnny walks in a bathroom and sees his seventy year old Granny standing up in the bath.

He looks at her minge, points and says, "What's that Granny?"

"That's my pu$$y," replies Granny.

Little Johnny keeps staring at it and finally says, "Well I think it's dead, 'cos it's got no fur and all it's guts are hanging out!"

Last edited by FR3ESTYLEKING; 10-28-2002 at 03:50 PM.
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  #104  
Old 10-28-2002, 03:38 PM
FR3ESTYLEKING FR3ESTYLEKING is offline
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Talking Blondes
Why doesn't a blonde talk during sex?





















Because her mother told her never to talk to strangers.
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  #105  
Old 10-28-2002, 03:39 PM
FR3ESTYLEKING FR3ESTYLEKING is offline
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Counting Condoms:


A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"

Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."

Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"

Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."

Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"

Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
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  #106  
Old 10-28-2002, 03:48 PM
FR3ESTYLEKING FR3ESTYLEKING is offline
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Here you go............

One weekend Bob is in the bathroom shaving when Little Johnny, a kid
from around the neighborhood, comes in after having mowed the lawn and proceeds to go to the bathroom.

Little Johnny was rather well endowed (had a HUGE penis) and curiosity got the best of Bob and he couldn't help but look. Little Johnny had the largest penis he had ever seen!!!

Bob asked Little Johnny, "I don't mean to be too personal, but how did your penis get that big?"

Little Johnny laughed and said, "Every night before bed, I bang it on
the bedpost three times. It sure impresses the girls at school!"

Bob was excited at the simplicity of this technique and could hardly
wait to try it himself!

Before he climbed into bed that night, he whipped it out and banged it on the bedpost three times. He was just climbing into bed with new found confidence when his wife sits up, half-asleep and rubbing her eyes, and says, "Little Johnny, is that you?"

____________________
Two drunks were lying alongside the curb when a cop came up. The officer saw that one had his finger stuck up the other drunks' ass. "What do you think you're doing?" the cop demanded.

"My buddy is sick and I'm trying to make him throw up," the drunk
slurred.

"Well how in the hell is sticking your finger up his ass going to make him throw up?" the cop asked.

"Just wait, " the drunk said, "until I stick it in his mouth."

____________________
IT'S LIKE MAKING LOVE TO A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN:

Making Coffee:
Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. You've got to grind your beans until they squeak. It's got to be hot. You've got to take your time. You've got to stir...gently and firmly. And then you put in the milk.

Laying A Carpet:
Laying a carpet is... very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, walk all over her. If you're adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.

Hanging Wallpaper:
Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a
beautiful woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.

Putting Up A Tent:
Putting up a tent, is... very much like making love to a beautiful
woman. You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole and... slip into the old bag.

Washing A Car ;
Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
You've got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you've got a nice wet sponge.

Answering The Phone:
Answering the phone, is... a little like making love to a beautiful
woman. In that you've gotta... lift the receiver, put it to your ear,
speak... loudly and clearly... oh, yes - and don't forget to state your name.

Being In A Crash:
Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual
lane highway, is... very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it's a
rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.

Going Fishing:
Of course, I'm a very keen fisherman myself. You know, I've often
thought that going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied. Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.

Being In Therapy:
And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful
woman. You... get on the couch, string 'em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.

____________________
Three women were roommates. One night, they all had gone out on dates
and they all came home at about the same time.

The first one said, "You know you've been on a good date when you come home with your hair all messed up."

The second one said, "No, you know you've been on a good date when you come home with your make-up all smeared."

The third one said nothing, but reached under her skirt, removed her
panties, and threw them against the wall, where they stuck. "Now, THAT'S a good date." she said.

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  #107  
Old 10-28-2002, 04:12 PM
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FantasyGerl FantasyGerl is offline
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lmao!!! thats sick about the granny's pu55y man!! lol
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  #108  
Old 10-28-2002, 05:07 PM
frankiepolanco frankiepolanco is offline
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LOL
they are all funny

:blah
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  #109  
Old 10-28-2002, 07:33 PM
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>shakin head< LMFAO BAWK BAWK!
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According to Manny, distance does not exist when it comes to freestyle...especially for Krystal

I'm not crazy...I'm just a little unwell! :stoned -MB20
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  #110  
Old 10-31-2002, 03:09 AM
FR3ESTYLEKING FR3ESTYLEKING is offline
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Why Halloween Is Better Than Sex LOL

10.)
You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9.)
If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8.)
The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7.)
You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.

6.)
The person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.

5.)
If you get a stomachache, it won't last 9 months.

4.)
If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.

3.)
It doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2.)
You have less guilt the next morning.

1.)
IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!

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  #111  
Old 10-31-2002, 03:51 AM
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Krystal Krystal is offline
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ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
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According to Manny, distance does not exist when it comes to freestyle...especially for Krystal

I'm not crazy...I'm just a little unwell! :stoned -MB20
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  #112  
Old 10-31-2002, 04:03 AM
FR3ESTYLEKING FR3ESTYLEKING is offline
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:nutz
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  #113  
Old 10-31-2002, 04:36 AM
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MonaLisa has a little shameless behaviour in the past
HHHHHHMMMmmmmm maybe I will go trick or treating.
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  #114  
Old 10-31-2002, 11:12 AM
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DreamGirl DreamGirl is offline
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LMAO!

~Meg~
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"I get lost in your eyes, and it makes my spirits rise. Is it love that I am in? I get weak in a glance, isn't that what's called romance? I just fell, don't know why. Something's there we can't deny. I don't mind not knowing what I'm headed for, you can take me to the skies. It's like being lost in heaven, when I'm lost in your eyes."
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  #115  
Old 10-31-2002, 02:13 PM
FR3ESTYLEKING FR3ESTYLEKING is offline
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  #116  
Old 10-31-2002, 02:22 PM
mike4949 mike4949 is offline
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Good job!!LOL
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  #117  
Old 11-01-2002, 01:34 AM
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Thumbs up

Ha ha ha ha ha!!! LMAO!!!! Very funny!!! Very enjoyable!!!!
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  #118  
Old 11-06-2002, 03:03 AM
FR3ESTYLEKING FR3ESTYLEKING is offline
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Thumbs up The Wrinkled Nightgown: (LOL)

A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown.

Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "My word, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!"
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  #119  
Old 11-06-2002, 11:22 AM
KORUPTED KORUPTED is offline
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  #120  
Old 11-07-2002, 12:02 AM
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Coro'sGirl Coro'sGirl is offline
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lol OUR CF STORY TELLER GOES AT IT AGAIN!!
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  #121  
Old 11-07-2002, 12:03 AM
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That was a good one!!!!!
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:switch
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  #122  
Old 11-07-2002, 12:34 AM
sxycalena sxycalena is offline
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very funny .. im going to have to tell that one to my abuelo!! lol
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  #123  
Old 11-07-2002, 01:02 AM
FR3ESTYLEKING FR3ESTYLEKING is offline
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story teller....... :yeey
How is everyone? I'm fine!!! OK THATS IT buh-bye
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  #124  
Old 11-07-2002, 02:37 AM
FR3ESTYLEKING FR3ESTYLEKING is offline
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Talking Bush at the Wheel (LOL)

Some say George W. Bush quit drinking because of this incident...
Back in his party days, Dubya got behind the wheel after a few too many. He started the car and stepped on the gas. He was driving for a while, when suddenly a white ghost face appeared in the window. George saw it and began screaming.

He stepped on the gas harder, but the face floated right in the window. George floored it - the speedometer read 110mph but the face did not disappear. A white hands gestured for him to roll down the window. Not knowing what else to do, he rolled it down slowly.

The wrinkled old face smiled and said, "Do you want help getting out of the mud?"

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  #125  
Old 11-07-2002, 03:10 AM
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Krystal Krystal is offline
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LMAO!!!!!!!
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According to Manny, distance does not exist when it comes to freestyle...especially for Krystal

I'm not crazy...I'm just a little unwell! :stoned -MB20
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