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  #1  
Old 07-26-2001, 08:09 AM
doos doos is offline
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Lmao........

A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon, etc. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are getting pregnant. He decides to call a local vet for advice. The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what the vet means. Not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around, and will instead, lay down and wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the pigs himself. So he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back home and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them into his truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the pigs, and upon returning home, falls into bed. Next morning, he can't even raise himself from the bed to look at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud. "No" she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn!"
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  #2  
Old 07-26-2001, 08:14 AM
Blankita32 Blankita32 is offline
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lolol
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  #3  
Old 07-26-2001, 08:14 AM
KORUPTED KORUPTED is offline
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LMAO...Doos...that was funny bro
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  #4  
Old 07-26-2001, 08:25 AM
Sassy4297 Sassy4297 is offline
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LOL
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  #5  
Old 07-26-2001, 08:39 AM
Angeleyes Angeleyes is offline
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Eeeewwww eeewwww but OMG LMAO
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  #6  
Old 07-26-2001, 08:47 AM
DJ Jiggly DJ Jiggly is offline
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LOLROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yo that wuz a good 1!!!!

L8R

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  #7  
Old 07-26-2001, 11:40 AM
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Thumbs up LMAO

THAT WAS TOO FUNNY DOOS!! BUT LOOKS LIKE THE FARMER IS GONNA NEED SOME VIAGRA FOR HIS NEXT TRIP TO THE WOODS!!!!!!!! OOPS DID I SAY THAT!! HEHEHE

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  #8  
Old 07-27-2001, 10:10 AM
doos doos is offline
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TOO FUNNY

The preacher rose with a red face. "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the KKK This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, " Do you not have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood. Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again all was quiet. Slowly a "drop dead" gorgeous blond with a body that would not stop rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and voice quivered as she spoke. "Reverend there has been a terrible
misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klu Klux Klan.I told a couple of friends you were a wizard under the sheets. "
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  #9  
Old 07-27-2001, 10:14 AM
*~LebenezFStyler~* *~LebenezFStyler~* is offline
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Lmao...
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  #10  
Old 07-27-2001, 10:41 AM
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DOOS

THAT IS TOOOOO FUNNY!!!!

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  #11  
Old 07-27-2001, 10:44 AM
doos doos is offline
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WURD IM STILL LAUGHIN ABOUT IT
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  #12  
Old 07-27-2001, 10:52 AM
DJ Jiggly DJ Jiggly is offline
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Yo these R 2 funny......passin' 'em around @ wurk....every1's ROFLTFAO!!!!! Nice wurk doos!!!

L8R

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  #13  
Old 07-27-2001, 01:45 PM
doos doos is offline
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Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his absence.

When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."

Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy."

"I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't very good and that she smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle."

The old woman fainted.
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  #14  
Old 07-27-2001, 01:49 PM
Blankita32 Blankita32 is offline
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Doos, you crazy!!!!
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  #15  
Old 07-27-2001, 03:01 PM
doos doos is offline
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YEAH SOMETIMES CRAZY FUNNY
LOL......
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  #16  
Old 07-27-2001, 03:20 PM
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OMG DOOS

THAT IS CRAZY!!!!

YOUR A** IS CRAZY!!!!!
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  #17  
Old 07-27-2001, 06:09 PM
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Liz_Torres Liz_Torres is offline
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funny...shiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, doos!
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Hi5 page
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  #18  
Old 07-27-2001, 08:03 PM
ER THE FS CHILD ER THE FS CHILD is offline
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ER THE FS CHILD
DOOS.

QUE FUNNY... QUE FUNNY... TRYING TO CATCH MY BREATH HERE.
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  #19  
Old 07-27-2001, 08:34 PM
freestylevet freestylevet is offline
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Thumbs up 2nd job here 4 ya

Doos, if ever you want a p/t job,,,DO STAND UP COMMEDY!!!

SUPER FUNNY JOKES...LOL
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  #20  
Old 07-27-2001, 08:49 PM
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Crystal2001 Crystal2001 is offline
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lmao! Yo doos, they all were hot! Did you make them up yourself? i gotta couple, but im not planning on sharin them anyhows, got anymore, cause im in a real need to laugh....Im sad at this point......does anyone got one?
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  #21  
Old 07-28-2001, 01:32 PM
Fierce Freestyler Fierce Freestyler is offline
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OH


MA




GODDDDD


THAT WAS TOO FUNNY ESPECIALLY THE LAST ONE WITH THE BOAT GOOD ONES DOOS KEEP EM COMMING
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  #22  
Old 07-28-2001, 01:55 PM
doos doos is offline
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YO FREESTYLEVET

YO HOW YOU BEEN YOUVE BEEN LOST
HOWS EVERYTHING GOING
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  #23  
Old 07-28-2001, 02:13 PM
chao$ chao$ is offline
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OMG those were hilarious U got any more DOOS?
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  #24  
Old 07-28-2001, 02:50 PM
doos doos is offline
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ILL HAVE SOME ON MONDAY
CRYSTAL2001 NO I DIDNT SOME KAT SEND THEM TO ME SO I JUST SHARE THEM WITH YOU GUYS TO BRIGHTING UP YOU DAYS SO IL LHAVE MORE ON MONDAY FO SHOUA!!!!!! AIGHT GOTTA BE OUT
BYE NOW
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  #25  
Old 09-17-2011, 05:43 AM
Dude111 Dude111 is offline
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Quote:
He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs are laying in the mud. "No" she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn!"
Oh my,i wish images were enabled on this base so i could put one of my own smilies
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